A Mess of Life

Steadily onward

2011-07-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Im moving on to something new. Pickle and Jam is where you can find me. It feels more suitable. I will leave this mess to my life once lived..

Long day, cold drink

2011-06-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

I must admit, I did not grow up with the wisdom of good food. It took me a long time to get to the place I am at now. Most days would start off with a pop-tart, a bowl of rice krispies, or a handful of change for a vending machine honey bun. The days would progress thusly with fat, sugar, and salt. It wasn't until my first year of college, when I moved to Mississippi to live with my brother and sister-in-law that things changed for me. I dropped 70 pounds that year, and have never turned back. All of that to say, now that I am an adult and can take care of myself, I love to start my day off right..

Kohlrabi omelet- kohlrabi and basil from my garden, eggs from the farm hens, ricotta with strawberry, and good ol' cocolovin' iced coffee

Kohlrabi in the garden

Got me through the long day ahead, and kept me going. To round it out nicely, I came home and had a small salad and made a sweet drink with this lovely..

Best ever tonic water- with ginger, and other goodies. Qtonic. Along with pimms and ice cubes, best ever summer drink. Don't even think about trying anything else when cocktail hour strikes.

Perfect for a late night bath :)

Good night long day

Cocolove

2011-06-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

For those who haven't been introduced, I would like you to meet young coconut..

A beautiful thing, full of sweet water that is full of electrolytes, as well as sweet meat with many benefits. I wont extol on those here, thats what the link is for. What I am here for is to expose my life's greatest secret. I have realized I've discovered something very special and it's time to spread the word.

Iced coffee with coconut water

It's that simple. Make your cold brewed coffee, add coconut water, milk if desired, and top with ice. Drink, and be fueled! Caffeine, potassium, and hydration. Seems like contradiction, but truly one powerful beverage.

We have pretty flowers blooming. They remind me of striped hard candy

And baby cucumbers!

Enjoy your day :)

Black Bean Beauties

2011-06-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

When life is full of too many beans...

Make brownies.

Many recipes to choose from. I took my inspiration from them all and formed my own. Heres how it goes:

Black Bean Beauties

15 oz black beans, cooked, drained, and rinsed

1/3c unsweetened cocoa powder

2tsp espresso powder

3/4c egg replacement (I use 2 Tb ground flax whisked up with water)

3 Tb flour (I used a gluten free mixture)

3/4c liquid sweetener (agave here)

1 Tb butter, melted

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 c chocolate chips

chopped nuts for topping

Preheat oven 350

Throw beans-egg in blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Scrape down sides, add flour-vanilla. Blend again until combined. Stir in chips. Pour into 8x8. Top will chopped nuts and extra chocolate. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Let cool. Cut and store in refrigerator. Enjoy!

And, a bit of advice: eat one and wait. They are deceptively filling. I got through two before I realized :)

Summertime lovin

2011-06-19T13:27:00.001-07:00

Summer; It's hot. Pure and simple. You wake up, if you're an early bird, and have a few spare hours before the sweat begins to pour. Unless you are lucky enough to be in an air conditioned building all day (as I am in school), perspiration is inevitable. Drink plenty of fluids. My favorite lately has been cold brewed coffee with coconut juice (just try it!) Water of course, always water, but you have to mix it up sometimes.. And melons and pickles, homemade. My favorite food groups.

Favorite pass time is playing with kittens..

They grow so fast!

Also, drinking cold, micro-brewed beer and hanging out with people who enjoy such activities. Volunteered at Houston's first annual beer festival last weekend. Very hectic and disorganized, with hard labor involved. But, I had the opening/set up shift, so by the time the temps. rose past 100, I was well into enjoying the beverages. Made a few friends along the way, some of whom work at the local breweries.

What a delight :)

Boil for supper

2011-06-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

I know I've been giving a lot of love to the South, and the great food we have to offer. I figured I would keep that theme running, because there is a lot to say. I just wanna talk a little about something we do here called a crawfish boil. Now, for those of you who have never seen a crawfish (crayfish, crawdad) or maybe have no concept for what Im talking about, you are about to learn.

See, you buy the fresh water crustacean alive and healthy, and keep them that way until you are ready to cook them. The best way to do that, especially when you've got 30+ lbs., like we always do, is to put them into your bathtub.

Then, you set up your equipment- a large pot on a burner with a straining basket inside, and another pot for scooping up the crawfish. When your water and spices are boiling in your huge pot, you scoop the crawfish out of the bathtub, picking out the dead ones and setting them aside, to dump straight in to boil.

They will take about 20 minutes to cook and become bright red. Any straight tailed ones should be discarded, as they were likely dead before being cooked. You will also have other ingredients that are boiled before hand- red potatoes, corn on the cob, mushrooms, garlic cloves, onions, jalapenos, and lots and lots of spice, mostly cayenne. Did I mention there is a lot of spice?

To eat, twist off the tail and pick out the meat. No forks required..

Nor are plates.

But, a good group of friends and family with a big table in a garage is key here. I am not particularly fond of the crawfish itself. But, because Tim was coming during season and had never experienced such a thing before, my mom was kind enough to get everything set up for the boil to happen so he could experience it. And, I have to say, he liked it alot and we had a really good time. It brought back memories of my childhood, playing with the crawfish in my bathtub and taking them out to the backyard to play. It was always a morbid experience for me, but I handled it much better this time. Etouffee leftovers!

To culture.

(Swamp Voodoo- Emily Peters <3)

Swamp Voodoo

2011-06-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

The South holds many gems. Some become best kept secrets, and some travel as we are a mobile (and gossipy) creature. One thing the South is known for is its food. Heavy, rich, and very simple. Its cheesy grits, collard greens, cornbread, anything fried, and lots of gravy. They call it Soul food, cause it nourishes every bit of you, down to your very soul. Sure, we found plenty of these delights in New Orleans, but we found some unexpected things as well. Barring the gator nugget experience we had our first night, all of our meals were enjoyable. So much so that each meal we ooh'ed and ahh'ed and declared it the best thing we had eaten yet. Even the afternoon when we picniced on simple fare from the farmers market- goat cheddar curds, baguette, arugula- we delighted in the way each flavor complimented each other. Perhaps it is what a good vacation does to you, allowing each of your senses

to become enlightened as to what is to truely be savored.

Our first good meal came by way of a little juice bar/cafe down the street from our hostel. We were so happy to have discovered this place. It offered something for everyone. I had the lunch sandwich special- 1/2 veggie, cole slaw and gazpacho. House made foccacia, perfectly sweet and crispy cole slaw without too much mayo, and a well blended sweet pepper gazpacho. Perfect for a hot summer day with a watermelon lemonade.

Tim got the Cuban sandwich with potato salad. Mmm mm. You can't go wrong with that. We were so happy we came back for breakfast :)

The best meal we experienced was at Jacques-Imos Cafe, a local joint about 5 miles from the Garden District. A short and fun bike ride got us there, and a 15 minute wait with a shared beer got us a table.

Tim had never experienced gumbo, along with many other perks of southern cuisine, so of course when Duck and Andoullie Sausage Gumbo presented itself on the menu, we had to order it. Hands down best gumbo I've ever had, and Tim liked it alot.

My pick was something kind of outrageous, but impossible to pass up- Gator Sausage and Shrimp Cheesecake. A savory cheesecake made with cream cheese, gouda, gator sausage and shrimp, with a parmasean crust and some awesome sauce. Wow, super good and just my style.

Of course corn bread, because no good southern style meal is complete without. And this place was churning out the muffins, with a hot 30 or so count pan coming out of the oven every 5 minutes. And they top it with garlic butter!

We incorporated a trip across lake Ponchatrain to a small town called Abita Springs to visit the Abita brewery. Along the way, we stopped at a nature conservancy, and explored the lush swamp land, even spotting a gator!

The brewery experience was pleasant, due mostly to the fact that they give you a glass and allow you to pour your own brew straight from the tap. I just recently became a fan of Abita by way of their S.O.S (Save Our Shores)- a pilsner with a cause.

The tour was short and sweet, which allowed plenty of time for sampling tasty beverages, of which there were about 10-12 to choose from. The tour guides were genial, and very helpful with questions, of which Tim had plenty. Being a home brewer really gets one excited when in the presence of lots and lots of beer :)

Overall, our trip to the swamp lands was fun, tasty, and liberating. I came back home with a whole new sense of myself, my community, and my food. I hope I will never stop traveling. It is truly my greatest source of inspiration.

Fun and Play

2011-06-05T07:32:00.001-07:00

Oftentimes, it takes an outside perspective to lift the fog from everyday life and help one see beyond the veil. I am guilty of getting stuck in the loop of routine, and am incredibly greatful for people in my life that help me out of ruts and take me on great adventures, even in my own backyard. My good friend, Amanda, and I have been exploring the depths of Houston, getting to know the city more intimately. It has felt good to rekindle a love for the city I have always professed to come from, yet never took the time to understand. There will be many more words on that to come, I am sure. For now, I want to take this time to go further South, to a city everyone has heard many things about. The city of New Orleans has gone through some tragic experiences, but it holds true to it's sense of pride and fun. There is always something new to learn from the area, especially when given the chance to explore the neighborhoods and outskirts. I have visited several times, having great experiences with each trip. But, this time seemed to wake my senses up to something totally new and alive in the area that I never discovered before. Perhaps it was the company I was holding, or the fact that we totally avoided to French Quarter and stayed in the Garden District, riding bikes. Traveling over Lake Ponchatrain was very special, and showcased the abundant nature Louisiana maintains. It was very reminiscent of California in the sense of being so lush and green. There is good fun to be had in New Orleans, and there is also an experience to rekindle your connection with reality, community, and peace

More on food, fun, and swamps next time. 'Cause this is gonna take at least two posts :)

Adventurous mixes

2011-05-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

A good margarita can be hard to find. Even around here, where margaritas are as ubiquitous as mosquitos, often times they are more like slushies, made with overly sweet mixes, and spare amounts of cheap tequila. On a hot summer day, when the need for a shaded porch and mixed drinks with friends overwhelms your every being, the best place to start is your kitchen. When I came across a recipe for Carrot Margaritas, my head suddenly flooded with all the millions of possibilities such an ingenious idea generates. With a 5lb bag of carrots, a few limes, some tequila and triple sec, a juicer (or you can just buy fresh carrot juice), and good company, there is no way the heat of summer can impede on your good times. We made a pitcher and delighted in its earthy, sweet (but not too much so) goodness. Later, we cracked open a young coconut, used its juices mixed with some lime juice, topped off with a little tequila and ice. Refreshing and hydrating, but not quite the same as that orange richness. Sadly, no pictures were taken of these delights. Not too fear, for we continued our adventures with margaritas a couple of nights ago and came up with this spectacular concoction...

Orange Basil Margarita

Serves 4

Juice 10 small oranges

Juice 3-4 limes

1/2c sugar

1/2c water

Make a simple syrup (equal parts water and sugar, simmered on low heat until slightly thick)

Add chopped basil leaves (1/3c) to syrup, let steep. Once cooled, strain into juice. Stir.

Add desired amount of triple sec (5oz?) and tequila (more than 5oz).

Glass is rimmed with coarse salt and chili powder.

Lovely and light and full of summer sweetness. I recommend drinking on a shaded porch, chatting with a good friend and watching cats run around the backyard..

City ventures

2011-05-20T14:07:00.000-07:00

Living half an hour from Houston, TX- the fourth largest city in the U.S- has always provided for an adventurous life. Growing up, my friends and I would often make the drive to see bands at grungy venues, try every intriguing cuisine from just about any ethnicity, and discover fun that we never knew existed. When I moved there on my own several years ago, it proved overwhelming. No longer was home 30 minutes from the hustle and bustle of such a large city life, but I was smack in the middle of rush hour traffic, any time I needed to go to the grocery store, or the library. Never the less, I managed for 6 months, made friends and worked in some very prestigious restaurants (such as my all time favorite- T'afia, which I will get to soon). Once I was finally beginning to get my bearings, I decided I would probably do much better in Austin, since I was young, active, sick of cars, and vegan. Austin was a better fit for me. But, Houston will always be my home. So, now that Im back for the time being, it has been a thrill to explore the crevices once again.

My good friend, Amanda, and I decided to start getting really familiar with Houston, and took a day trip. We found all kinds of nifty (and foodie) places to visit, printed out a map, and hit the road with a loaded iPod. It rained all day, but if you've ever been to Houston in the middle of summer, you will understand that this was a very pleasant thing. Our first stop was a sweet little family owned Argentinean restaurant called Marinis Empanada House. There, we discovered the true delight of the wonderful empanada...

Mine was one savory- the Avocado, and one sweet- fig, cheese and walnut. Ooohh, the delight!

The crust was so perfectly golden delicious, with a beautiful lightness that showcased the filling. And those cute little bubbles! Each empanada is handmade, right when you order it. I would love to learn how to form those fabulous crinkles.

The fig, cheese, walnut was by far my favorite. Thing ever. Seriously, if I was to be made into a food, I would most certainly be this empanada. So perfectly sweet, creamy and each ingredient shown through equally.

Those also have the most delightfully strong Yerba Mate, either hot or cold, for just 1.50- plus all the free refills you can handle! After this lunch, we were ready for any traffic and confused side streets, and detours Houston could throw at us.

Our next stop was a wonderful market called Hmart. It is an asian market, full of the most intriguing culinary wonders, plus all kinds of other interesting housewares and random accessories that sometimes dont make sense. We have always been fans of shopping at asian markets, our favorite being Viet Hoa, the largest in Houston. Hmart provided a good change of pace, plus I love their slogan.

I was able to pick up plenty of produce, sesame seed oil, and honey powder. I had never heard of such a thing, but as I am a sucker for anything powder, I brought it home and immediately began experimenting (for later posting).

After exploring the market, and spending a lot of time driving around, taking random pictures, it was time to finish off the evening with drinks and appetizers at my all time favorite restaurant t'afia. Along with a comfortable environment, there are complimentary appetizers offered with a drink purchase during "lounge" hours. The owner/chef Monica Pope is a fantastic woman who is adamant about using fresh, local ingredients in every dish. The food is incredible, with loving preparation, and never too much or too little. They make some really special drinks and always have a great selection of local beers and wines.

I always begin evenings here with the Ratafia flight- a generous sampling of three varieties of housemade ratafia. The blushing beauty to the left is a peach fortified with white wine, the middle is the always pleasant pineapple with white, and standing boldly on the right is a grapefruit with red wine. The triplet never fails to please.

After some delightful appetizers- chickpea "fries" with curry ketchup, muhammara on toast- a beautiful brew met our table. I had never seen the Pine Belt Pale Ale from Southern Star Brewing Co., and I was not about to pass it up.

I now have two go to beers for the summer, this crisp pale ale, and Shiner's Ruby Redbird.

It was a lovely day of exploration and adventure, but they all do come to an end eventually. It gave us a lot of initiative to visit again very soon. There will always be plenty to explore in such a large metropolitan area. And there really is something beautiful about the sun set reflected off of this glass building. Very reminiscent of a sun set on the ocean.

Good night, Houston. We will see you again soon.

Being born

2011-05-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

Since recently paying tribute to mothers, and being surrounded by so much new life and growth, I realize that being born is very special as well. So, here's to life; new, old, and in between..

Mothering

2011-05-08T17:30:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day passed, as every year, very simply. The day felt more special this year. My family and I gathered for a simple brunch..

A garden frittata, with eggs, onions, potatoes, kohlrabi, and herbs all from the local gardens. Some toast, pickled carrots and grapes, fresh carrot and orange juice, coffee and cake.

This is mama goat

She and her babe, along with about 10 other goats and their babes live down the road, at a family farm I spend time at. I love holding the kids, and can't wait until they wean so that I can begin my next favorite activity: milking!

And then, to top it all off, we discovered (very late in the game) that our precious cat was pregnant..

And then, she had her kittens.

Mothering, I am constantly reminded what a precious role it is. I look forward to spending my time in it one day.

Cheers

2011-04-27T16:25:00.001-07:00

Looking forward to the new laptop, camera, a extra time. Opening possibilities wherever I roam. Sometimes it all feels so dark, and then I realize there is still an outside, where birds sing, wind blows, snakes slither, and trees grow. I breathe deeply, let out a sigh. Iced tea on hot pre-summer days helps things along. To more later.

2011-04-25T10:29:00.001-07:00

Oh my, what a time it has been. And long since I have set my sights on these pages. Travels will do that to a person. Now, I am solitary and confined to one city for the time being. Actually, make that 3, but they are all within short distance of one another. Back in Houston, I spend my days working and interning. I decided that my life's work is to help others, and my preference fell on pregnant women and newborn babes. I am becoming a certified Doula- a.k.a professional labor coach. I have observed 3 births so far (my forth next week!) and have 2 clients of my very own lined up for the next 2 months. After having witnessed my very first birth, other than my own, I can say with no hesitation that this is my calling. I begin massage therapy school in June, to better serve my clients. I also get to start milking goats again, my favorite past time! Working on getting a camera and laptop right now. Perhaps start work on getting this blog up and running again.

Simply delayed

2009-08-08T14:42:00.000-07:00

Sickness, she's a wild beast, ain't she? Like a twister she rages, ripping through every limb, valve, and orifice. Smashing up every bit of energy left within you, forcing a kind of stillness that our nature is not accustomed to. Perhaps if we lived as sloths do, moving so very slowly and carefully, and sleeping many hours. On second thought, our skin would then be covered in a layer of algae. Not a very attractive article of clothing, I suppose. Although, who knows when it will be the next fall fashion. "Blue-green algae, it's all the rage this season! Live green and look green."
Now that I am back in full health, although somewhat woozy headed from sleeping and not eating for 3 days straight, I couldn't be more greatful for my ability to walk, climb, sweat and eat. Having gone through this period of forced immobility, I came out realizing how important it is to constantly give gratitude for everything we have in life, and to never stop reevaluating. I found myself recently, even on this incredible journey, getting really stuck within myself, my head, and my habits. Such dangerous battle grounds are these.

They say when you start really knowing a foreign language you dream in it. I suppose the language of nature has been imbued in me, because I've dreamt of trees nightly. High up in the branches I sat last night, almost touching the wild bed of stars in the sky. I couldn't get high enough, yet knew I was too far from the ground. Up and down I went, unable to contain my joy of reaching new heights. It's the same feeling I have everyday at my homestead. I have opportunities here that I haven't found elsewhere. I am learning, and living fully. I will be here for as long as I can last, and enjoying every moment.

Now here

2009-07-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

I look upward into the darkness, my eyes are blanketed by stars. I can see each and every one of them. The milky way is just beyond my finger tips as I reach up to smooth out the nights velvet. I feel enchanted. So tiny and expansive am I. Just one of the many creatures beneath the nights sky. A feeling such a city dweller hardly gets to feel.
Went for a walk, down a dirt road, all alone yet surrounded by life. Seeking out the pond, I lost my way. Along comes the Parisian on his scooter, and offers me a hitch. I hope on the back, hang on! It's a very bumpy road. I clutch at the bar and brace myself. The swift air feels amazing, I am smiling and my heart is racing. Speak to me in your french, we cannot find our water, but we are finding communication.

I have expansive room to think, feel, act and play. It's all up to me how I live my time here. There is no rush, no musts. My mind has been stuck in the other world, caught up in a mind fuck. Replaying the same thoughts and worries that get me no where. It's a great time to change that. Let in a little humility, release the reservations. Think expansively, and embrace the opportunities. Many projects to keep my mind occupied. Don't fret, it's all coming around. I'm now here.

Where I'm staying
My hosts moved here with very little in the 70's, no knowledge of carpentry or living in the woods, and built their amazing home by themselves (and the help of local neighbors) on this property. They have been building since. It may never be complete, but it is completely inviting.

Where I sleep
Nice little shack with a twin bed, a shelf, and a window. We spent the first days I was here patching holes in the wood, and getting rid of wasps. Now its cozy and solitary.

What I play with
My first attempts at making hula hoops! The first is bent, the second is too small. But I can still keep them spinning, and that's good for me. There will be many more to play with soon.

Limits to your own ledge

2009-07-17T20:09:00.001-07:00

Drive all night into the day break. Sun slowly setting atop the ancient redwoods. No end in sight, enormous vast expanses of land not thought possible. And the ride is a long one. Up the valleys, through the hills, along the coast we go. Betwixt the trunks, beneath the stars, with friends unknown. We soon become an entity. Singing songs, we murder them for our gas, spent the last dime. We sing our tortilla chip rhymes.

It's gone from desolate desert land, to sun-kissed, tree strewn mountain tops. Graciously greeted with wining and dining. Inspired conversation, followed by jovial laughter. The flow is at your own pace. No strain, just stretching, and pushing your limits only to your personal ledge. I am in a place far beyond my imagination of what existed in such close reach. With each corner turned, my breath is taken away, my mouth left agape, my words left unformed. Friends are made in every town I travel through. Lessons are learned with each step. How could I have been missing out on this for so long? And, now I wonder, how can I ever leave?

But now I miss that sweet voice, the familiarity by my side. Home is a far stretch away, no matter how consolatory each destination. Still, at the end of every day, I am left feeling right, feeling real. Feeling more than I ever thought I could feel. So lets see how long I can keep this up. I suppose we'll see what comes first, the overdraft fees or the tears..

A sleepless mind tends

2009-07-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

Life no longer sits at a stagnant pace. Turning down random street corners, enjoy the day to day race. So, it's out of the desert into the wild concrete jungle. Who's to know what will creep behind you. A beach bum bus ride. Bodies submerged in a vast expanse of sea salted water; the only remedy for wiping dirt away. The vast ocean spread before, the grainy sand strewn beneath. And the salt in the air lingers to remind me of your sweat on my tounge. Waves come crashing to the shore and we dive beneath them, defying all fears of under current power. Let us evolve, renew, be free. Move to the water, make life under the ocean with me.

Put myself on a bus heading West, hitch a ride Northward. Meeting so many faces along the way. How nice it is the make contact and be able to preserve anonimity. Some I will know forever, some will be but passing flames. The moments in between will always be in my memory. Everything is temporary, life is a constant change. No thought, desire, or wish will forever matter. I will always fail, I will always prosper. Forever I will obtain just what I need. You can handle only what you care to take, the rest is left behind for better times. Found is just what is needed, just an unfinished version to be completed. Take it, or leave it behind to be torn down and demolished with the rest of humanities creation.

So, tell me my dear, what is love to you? Can you call it an action, or would you rather name it catalyst? Whatever you say, just make sure those lips which you speak are kept tightly around me. I'll keep you in good supply, my darling. Oh yeah, oh yes, so good, that's right. Some will show you better times, something genuine, something true. Take you somewhere that won't destroy you, share the knowledge of the wealth. Be aware, keep your quickness wit sharpened. It's a long tough road out there, babe.

Spontaneous graves

2009-07-06T19:42:00.000-07:00

Digging deep down, a grave for seeds to be lain. A site for vegetation to be reborn. Shovels grasp at dirt, hitting rock bottom, working in rhythmic motions. The pounding of gravel forms a melodic tune. Bare feet feel cool as the mud climbs up the cracks between the toes. All together now, yo heave ho! Shovel the dirt, shuffle your feet, find efficiency in your steps. The blazing sun becomes too hot and we retreat.

To the shade, to chill and be chilled. A good time to wander, rummage, and play. We find most interesting things in the deserted desert lands. Abandoned buildings, dilapidated wells, run down, beaten up old cars, and piles of old junk left behind.

But when night falls, the coyotes call, and you know the snakes are emerging from their holes. It's supper time. Back to your projects. Down to the basements. The swarm hits at dusk, and thats when the sting comes. Drama unfolds, blame gets laid, and it all comes undone.

Sometimes a spontaneous act is the right one. Life can't always be resumes and plans. Just know when to get out. North winds are calling, and it's time to heed them. Onward to more adventure, I'm done with this place. Claremont college town, green gardens abound. Beaches in the near distance, and I'm hearing the waves crash.

WIld in the Southeast

2009-07-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

Desert land, fertile ground, unbelievable heat. Work the morning away, sweat out the tears. Cats ready to breed, dogs hallucinating from rattlesnake bites. All the while we try to keep our raw suppers down. The mornings treat us nicely with cool air and warm teas. A gentle meditative presence fills the ranch. Work begins; feed the animals, water the plants, harvest the vegetables.

Spend the afternoons, blistering heat of the day, trying not to break a sweat. Play with kittens, read a book, learn new things. Back to work; feed your soul, water your palate, harvest for your belly.

Feelings of isolation begin to sink in, but friends are easy to come by. It's a great place to be, empowerment is the key word here.

Soon it's onward to the coast. I need more greenery, a place to cool down, a large body of water to emerge into. I've set my sails, now waiting for the wind to blow. Beginning to miss the good people back at home. Trying to keep in touch, hoping to see thier words soon.

Ode to a funky blue flute

2009-06-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

O, funky blue instrument of wind.

How you set my thoughts astray,
you make me want to sin.
You draw me from my slumber,
no longer do I feel so alone in this world of mechanical wonder.

I haven't dreamt of high school demons in so long.

Now you have come, and the dreams sing your song.

I want to screw you, piece to pieces,
press your silver buttons.
Blow my soul into your lip-plate,
our music speeds my heart rate.

Now that has been said, words of not so much ridiculousness...

Friends playing chill house shows with other amazing musicians makes for the best night with a 1/8 jug of whiskey. Having only a camera phone available, along with lighting provided only by TV static and a bundle of christmas lights, makes for piss poor quality. You get the jist, though. And if you don't, you shoulda been there!

Playing as The Literallies- Aaron, Ryan, Sarah

We breezed into Venice beach, through 3 hours of L.A. traffic. Muscle beach, fancy shops, cheese pizza. A sight to behold. The salt water cleansed our heads after swooping us under it's lapping waves. The cool ocean breeze turned to a harsh coldness as the night swept the day away. Back to the beach front soon enough.

Now in the desert lands. It's been quite a day. Trying to acclimate to the heat. The animals are friendly, as are the people. All those stories soon to come...

2009-06-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

The rain of California smells like gasoline pie. A familiar smell somehow. And how the tips of the mountains just barely touch the bottoms of the clouds. Teasing ticklish flesh with your anxious awaiting. Hide your head in the sand, rubbish in rubble be damned. We are here! Lollipos and groovin' jams, it's what we've got going on. I'm shook, and just too young to die. So here comes the dancing..

Speeding by on bumpy roads we hit Riverside. Meeting new faces, good to know. Sitting on the porch, slopping down a handle of whiskey. Songs are accompanied by accordion, baby piano, guitar, and various music boxes. We make beautiful music. We are inspired for a bar scene. On the dance floor we are glued, giving tribute to the recently deceased. Down on the floor, show us your moves. Damn you rock! Sleepy eyes guide us to roll on. Collapsing in the respective sleeping corners. The sleeping puzzles cannot be pieced together. The glue was left on the dance floor.

In delirium..

2009-06-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

Heavy eyes behind the wheel on a road to just known where. Smoking cigarettes, listening to slurring Bukowski spatting words of lust and wisdom. Butt aches, head shakes, delerious laughter. The drowsiness seeps into exhilaration. New voices become familiar, personalities rubbing off, attitudes shining through. Still holding on to the something old, in the quest for something new.

It was as different for everybody as it was the same, so everybody had to take control of their own life, define their own death and construct their own salvation. And when you finished, you didn't call the Messiah. He'd call you.

Tom Robbins- Skinny Legs and All

Dust Storms May Exist

2009-06-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

I saw a dust devil blowing through the desert today, it reminded me of you. Whipping through the brambles, dancing, thrashing, tip toes touching lightly the sandstone rocks. Mountain ridges towering, calling from the distance behind you. Dancing your way to the top is inspired, but you may only go the ways the wind blows. How tall you have grown, devil of dust, wind, fire, rocks. Foxtails lying by the roadside, and you disappear in stealth. It must fade away, temporarily. Dust Storms May Exist.

Lifting the veils

2009-06-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

Emerging the borders of Texas and New Mexico, a new state, a new place of mind. A veil covers the mountains, they are inhibited. Driving forward, maxing the limits of speed, the rain storm hits the 85 mph tires. I must relent for furthering the life of the drive. Onward, beyond, the storm begins to cease. The veil is now lifted, bringing new perspective. Mountain ranges emerge, uninhibited creatures towering high. Night begins to fall, the desert landscape shaded with deep oranges, blues and black in some places. The cactus retreat, the mountains become towers of unknown force. All that is left now is watered down thought inspired by a recent conversation of love songs...

Everyone feels love, some stronger than others, but it is present none the less. Everyone thinks about love, some more than others, but the thoughts are ever present. Most are inclined not to bring it up in conversation very often, and sometimes refuse to admit it's existence as a powerful force within us. Some just downright refuse to admit they have the feeling at all, or choose to state their abhorrence of it. I think when you choose to express the feeling, you are being honest. In song, with such openness and purity, totally uninhibited, you showcase a great strength. As goes for anyone who faces up to fear. No one has a place in this world to call you a pussy. Speed on you crazy love song.

Hiding under the veil

2009-05-02T14:53:00.001-07:00

Im just seeing you. Watching you live. Documenting it. So what if we documented ourselves. Watched for the first time, really seeing. And what if we didn't like what we saw? When we take these images, actions, voices and see them through the perspective of reality maybe we can understand the right and wrongs. We all delete, rid from our sight what we just don't like, can't seem to stand. If it couldn't be deleted, forgotten, rid of, we would see nothing else. You must be on your best behavior. Think before you act, play by the rules. Maintain your composure. I just want to see. To watch you. Don't tell me the world is brave when we're all hiding under the veil.

Unoriginal Sin

2009-04-28T17:53:00.001-07:00

Originality has lost it's place in our atmosphere. It has been replaced by the nuts and bolts of reproduction. Constantly producing, expanding. Needing more, just one more inch to make sure. It leaves you helpless in knowing what it means to be secure. Perhaps this fight, this constant push to gain all there is to gain, be all you can be, isn't what is really needed at all.

Our ability to see, watch, appreciate, grow and understand will carry us.

You must leave everything you cannot control. It begins with your family but soon it comes round to your soul. I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned. When you're not feeling holy your loneliness says that you've sinned.

The Sisters of Mercy by Leonard Cohen

So many things in the life matter not much at all, yet we grasp at them as if they are a fleeting ship that we must board in order to survive. Those things that truly matter seem to us insignificant. We internalize the prospects of need and greed to be something we respect over our wants. Knowing oneself and respecting that knowledge brings clarity. I tend to do many things that I believe I need to do over what I really want. It comes down to the belief that needs must always, strictly, be met before getting what we want. What then when we compromise our wants? They must be respected the same in order for them to flourish and for you to get to know yourself. In order to survive. Ignore the system. Listen to yourself and do nothing less.

Transgression of the Unnoticed

2009-04-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

When all things come crashing down, thats when you realize where you stand. You sober up, and start seeing yourself for the first time in maybe forever. It's hard to look, to truly see without the rose tinted blindness.

Kill your eyes with image. Blind them with truth. See and believe and then begin to understand. We are all flesh, bone, blood. Bound together with thought and feeling. Undissolved we unite. I have to see to believe. I believe I have to be seen to be real. When you begin to look around you, the unnoticed emerges. Red houses with tin roofs, walls plastered with image, people with frowns, dogs with scabs. Take it apart, piece by piece, build your own reality from the parts.

I'm here to share, to ride, to build, and to kill. For your eyes only, I'm here to see.